We're Just Like Ashton and Demi (But Different)

Alex does not have bangs.

Ashton has been married to Demi for 6 years. Alex and I have been married for 22 years. Ashton has acted in movies. Alex has taken acting classes and he was actually quite good at it. Ashton is taller than Demi. Alex is shorter than me (but he says he isn't).

Demi Moore has kids. I have kids. When I was Demi's age, I was as skinny as she is, but I'm not now. Demi has two ex-husbands. I have at least that many. Demi has appeared on film topless. I have too. Demi shaved her head for her role in "GI Jane". I wear my hair very short.

The age difference between Ashton and Demi is about the same as the age difference between me and Alex. Is it any surprise that I wake up some days thinking I'm her?

When that happened this morning, I immediately started to hyperventilate because I was missing my husband in my bed. I felt sure that he was off frolicking in a hot tub with some bimbo named Sara. I was pretty sure too that he and Sara would probably have unsafe sex after the soak. I was pissed. How could he do this to me?

Wait, I'm not Demi. Alex is not Ashton. He just went to work.

Whew!